


Not a Thing

by Calliatra



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Could Be Considered Meta, Denial of Feelings, Experimental Style, F/M, Introspection, Light Angst, No Dialogue, Relationship Study, Season/Series 02, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 07:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5735452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calliatra/pseuds/Calliatra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Because they know what they are, and what they’re doing, and where they’re going. Which is nowhere. Because what they are is friends and what they’re doing is just having fun.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>They key is not to question that.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myrifique](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrifique/gifts).



It starts after they win the Great Greater Greendale Area Community College State-of-the-Eighties Chicken-Based Space Simulator Race for Greendale. They’re high on adrenalin, Britta from the unaccustomed feeling of winning and Jeff from the unquestioning adulation of the crowd, and if Abed were there, he’d arrange for the music to swell as the cameras zoom in on Jeff dipping Britta into a soul-searing kiss.

As it is, Abed isn’t anywhere in sight (not that that necessarily means anything), and the crowd is distracted by the newly exploding space simulator and by fleeing for their lives, so no one notices when Britta yanks Jeff down by the collar and slams her mouth into his. Jeff gets a split lip that he spends the next week making up lies about. He takes personal pride in not telling any two people the same story.

There isn’t all that much to say about the rest of it. Mainly because _they_ don’t say much. (Well, about _it_ , anyway. This thing really isn’t a let’s-have-deep-conversations kind of thing. That’s not what either of them are here for. They’re in it for the thrill, mainly, and the sex, obviously, and maybe the fact that this way, they don’t have to make nice with anyone to get some. Getting to be as sarcastic and abrasive as they want to be without having to worry about hurt feelings is definitely an advantage. Occasionally that feels like it should be telling them something, but they ignore that feeling.

They keep it a secret. From everyone, generally, but particularly from the group. It’s more fun that way, more exciting. More dangerous. And just so much easier. Because if the group knew, they’d start meddling, and judging, and have all these expectations about what a relationship should look like and _ugh_ , no one wants that. And anyway, it’s not like they’d even really have anything to tell. It’S not like they’re serious or anything. It’s not like this is even a _relationship_ kind of a thing. They’re just having a little fun. It doesn’t change anything about their friendship. So there really isn’t anything for anyone else to know.

The rest of the school seems to agree. After all, it’s not like the two of them are actually being anything that could reasonably be called _discrete_. In fact, it would take more than the four hands they have between them to count all the times someone on campus caught them somewhere they weren’t supposed to be with their four hands… not exactly between them. Frankly, it’s very lucky Greendale has such a lax policy on public nudity. And lewdity. (Thank you, Dean Pelton.) And still, there’s been no gossip about them. So.

Okay, so some of that probably has to do with the fact that most of the school still thinks they’re a couple, what with that fake dating stunt they pulled at the beginning of the year. (Sure, they had a wedding-day cheating scandal and a vicious breakup at the altar that would have made any soap opera proud, but only a dozen or so people actually witnessed that. And given that their subsequent story involves a simultaneous proposal and wedding in the library study room, an attempt by Britta to electrocute Annie, Pierce controlling @oldwhitemansays with his mind, an Irish dance troupe, and Abed breaking up with Jeff to run off with George Clooney, it’s not really a surprise that not many people believe them.) The sheer amount of people not so much taking advantage of Greendale’s carefree approach to indecent exposure as enforcing it through plain omnipresence probably accounts for some of their lack of notoriety, too. But still, it clearly also means that there’s nothing to talk about.

Unless they’re drunk, when the thing to talk about, at least for them, is how they really shouldn’t be doing this. Not _this_ this, but this right here, now, while they’re drunk. Their kind of drunk makes them say things, things they might not be able to take back, and since there’s nothing to say, anyway, anything they would say would be… not right. Not as in _wrong_ , but as in… whatever. They agree not to do this drunk.

To be fair, it’s not like they took vows of silence on this, or anything. They talk about it, of course they do. They have to agree on times and places, for one thing. And for another, it’s not like there’s much that could shut either of them up, especially given so many new and wonderful opportunities to mock each other. So yes, of course they talk. Not talking would be weird, like they were in denial or something. And they’re not. They’re both very aware of what they’re doing: it’s called _fun_. And the key to keeping it fun is not questioning that.

So Britta might have some issues about lesbians she needs to work through, and Jeff may be trying not to lust after a technical teenager, but this, their thing? Is stable. Safe. Because they know what they are, and what they’re doing, and where they’re going. Which is nowhere. Because what they are is friends and what they’re doing is just having fun.

Which, by the way, is why they encourage each other to date, and help that process along if it’s not moving fast enough. Because they’re secure in their friendship.

It ends the way it was always going to: with them turning tail and running after being found out by the group. Because once it’s out there, it’s out there. Or, to put their words into something someone else might understand, as soon as other people can see what they have, it will be reflected back at them from all sides, all the time. They won’t be able to avoid looking at it anymore. They might even have to see this for what it is. And they aren’t ready for that.

* * *

After it’s over, they forget about it. Completely. Move on like it never happened. Because nothing _did_ happen. It’s not like it was real. It’s not like they had a connection. It’s not like they understand each other in a way no one else does. It’s not like they had something good in this crappy, fragile world that might actually have lasted.

They forget about it, let it go, never think about it again. It’s not important. And it’s definitely not the vision of hope and security they cling to when everything else is falling apart.

Because if it were, what would that mean?


End file.
